Wednesday, 6 November 2013

THE WINTER OF DISCONTENT (PART III)

Fourteen months between updates? Tardiness, perhaps, but with almost double the number of establishments now visited (Oh great - I’m looking forward to writing them up. Ed.), you can’t accuse The Management of a lack of commitment to the cause.

A new year (albeit 2010 in this case) almost always means an excuse to take in some new pubs, and The Management’s mid-January session involved a Sunday-night visit around some on South Bridge and beyond. Proceedings commenced in Biblos (South Bridge/Chambers Street 3,5,7,8,14,29,30,31,33,35,37,47,48,49) and then moved on to Aspen (South Bridge 3,5,7,8,14,29,30,31,33,35,37,47,48,49).  Neither is worthy of much comment. On a similar note, Wm McEwan’s Ale House (Nicolson Street 3,5,7,8,14,29,30,31,33,37,47,48,49) was our next port of call.

Pool is a pub game which features almost as many rules of etiquette as it does in normal play. Or so it transpired when we moved on to The Maltings (St Leonards Street/Montague Street 2). With the score standing at 1-1, and the next goal the winner (so to speak), a toothless wonder shuffled towards us. “Winner stays on,” he declared, trying to pry Nick’s cue from his hands and shooting me an expectant look. “Those are the rules!” he cried, but his protests were futile. With the benefit of hindsight, it might have been better to entertain him – particularly given that Nick went on to claim both game and match.

For what it’s worth, The Maltings was something of an institution when I first moved to Edinburgh. Not only because it frequently turned up in Ian Rankin’s Rebus novels when the author needed something just slightly less predictable than his character’s 94th trip to the Oxford Bar, but also because of its famed 50p spirits and somewhat dubious claims that it promoted responsible drinking. These days the students are long gone, and even the name has changed. More on that in due course.

The toothless one was still whinging about pool table etiquette as we headed for the exit – and most likely still is now – and we decided to return to the Greenmantle (Nicolson Street 3,5,7,8,14,29,30,313,33,37,47,48,49), which had since its last review (and since I worked there) enjoyed a makeover which consisted of far more than the usual lick of paint. Gone were noteable local crusties such as “Tumour Face Man” and “Zombie”, nefarious-Edinburgh University cleaner-cum-Dalkeith Hell’s Angel (surely a contradiction in terms if ever there was one), replaced by a fridge full of eminently drinkable ales and a menu featuring bison burgers. Who said that pubs had become bourgeois?

The following Saturday, The Wynd returned to The Ark which was to shut shortly afterwards. Promises – empty ones at that – of an album appearing that year were made (although, as a spoiler, those of you waiting for the updates from 2013 will be delighted to know that it is now out) and the stage was invented by a clinical giant in a hi-vis vest.

After the gig, band, entourage, blaggers and hangers-on headed first for the Guildford Arms and then to The Chanter (Bread Street 2,35)¸where the pool etiquette was somewhat less contentious than it had been earlier in the month. The Wee Red Bar (Lauriston Place 23,27,35,45), Edinburgh College of Art’s student union, is renowned for its selection of alternative club nights. Aficionados of indie, reggae, classic pop or soul will rarely be disappointed. Even some of the blaggers and pissheads who stuck around after the gig seemed to enjoy themselves. The Management’s official version of events is that memories are hazy – barring a man wearing a husky jumper – but one question remains unanswered: just where did Nick disappear to?

 

We’ve no idea. Until the next time...

CUMULATIVE PUB COUNT: 181

PUB GAME TALLY:
NICK: 3.5
ROD: 1.5
ADAM JOHNS: 0

Monday, 24 September 2012

Dogs, Guns and Snooker Cues


Just to appease those of you who have been thinking “why the hell haven’t they updated that blog for over nine months?”, those of you who have been thinking “I wonder if they’ve given up yet?”, and most particularly those of you who have been thinking “I couldn’t give a flying pig”, here is our latest collection of ramshackle drinking tales:
Back in the days when Itison used to dish out invites for free events rather than flog discounted visits to beauty salons, we were kindly invited to the Equity for Punks launch night at Bacaro (Hope Street Lane/Hope Street 1,3,4,10,11,12,13,15,16,19,22,24,25,26,30,31,33,34,36,37,41,44,47,48,100). Always grateful for a bit of hospitality, The Management attended this launch night and sunk free bottles of Punk IPA courtesy of Brewdog while they tried to convince us to invest in their beer-making business. We weren’t convinced then and we're not convinced now. After all, would you invest in someone from Fraserburgh?
A month later, in December 2009, we convened for a pre-Christmas pint or five. We started in Rileys Sports Bar (New Yorker) Edinburgh (Jock’s Lodge 4,5,15,26,44,45) but due to a lack of available pool tables, we shifted next door to Limelite (Jock’s Lodge 4,5,15,26,44,45). With a selection of classic indie tunes on in the background, we took our time getting through our bottles of Caley 80/-.
While Limelite is modern and bright inside, Jock’s Lodge (Jock’s Lodge 4,5,15,26,44,45) next door is quite the opposite, to the extent that dingy barely covers it. Now infamous for the shooting which took place 3 months after our visit (our alibis are sorted), our pints were downed beside a wood burning stove - a welcome treat in what was to become the coldest winter in years...until the one after. However, Limelite offered better clientele, atmosphere and beer and so we returned there to discuss how to get home from The Bluetones' King Tuts show the following Wednesday. We settled on the sensible option: taking the last bus.
Until the next time...
CUMULATIVE PUB COUNT: 174


*Postscript: Only one member of The Management made it onto the bus. The other - who shall remain nameless - was last seen stumbling tearfully towards a taxi rank some time around 2.30am.

Wednesday, 30 November 2011

THE WINTER OF DISCONTENT (PART 1)

The Management’s next outing involved a trip to Dickens (Dalry Road, 2,3,4,25,33,44), famous for little other than allegedly being Kenny Richey’s watering hole of choice. The same evening, we visited The Tynecastle Arms (Gorgie Road, 1,3,25,33) before retiring to The Ardmillan Hotel for several nightcaps.

Shortly afterwards, we reconvened to see something really cool:



It was bone-chillingly cold on the day, and rather than re-visit the Marmion*, we headed into town to warm up. Lebowski’s (Morrison Street, 1/2/34/35), being the chosen venue. As those of you familiar with the film will have guessed, the place specialises in White Russians. I prefer a beer, and in any event I preferred it when it was cheap, nasty and known as The Festival Tavern.

A spectacularly drunken an ill-considered lock-in in Harry’s Bar (Randolph Place, 19/36/37/41/47), my place of work at the time, left The Management in need of a serious debrief the following day. The stories have been repeated many times, but for the purposes of this blog they shall remain untold so as to protect the innocent. Harry’s itself is renowned for its burgers, its rugby crowds and its grab-a-granny discos. ‘Nuff said. Debriefing started in The West Room (Queensferry Street, 19/36/37/47), a fairly swanky (and pricey to boot) place run by the folk who started Sygn, just round the corner. It tells you a lot about the night before when even your memories of 4pm are hazy, but i have a vague recollection of there being a horrendous mix-up which led to me being given 3 free bottles of Groslch. Nick, nursing his pint and the mental scars of the night before, didn’t seem to object.

Visits to The Vat and Fiddle (Lothian Road, 1/10/11/16/22/30/34/45) and Mr Modo’s (Lothian Road, 1/10/11/16/35/45) followed. Neither was spectacular. The moral of the story remains that you should never fall in love with a dancer.

Until the next time...

CUMULATIVE PUB COUNT: 170

*Apart from the mid-morning medicinal dram we popped in for.

The Stock Brig/Leith Central Station

Our latest recap of drinking exploits starts in Stockbridge. Avoca (Dean Street, Deanhaugh Street, 24/29/42), one of Stockbridge’s better kept secrets, and mixes the area’s customary air of café culture with a refreshing lack of pretension. On this occasion, we were accompanied by an interesting bloke who seemed to spend most of the evening arguing with himself.

We half expected to find the same character in St Bernard’s Bar (Raeburn Place, 24/29/42) across the road, but much to our disappointment (or relief, you decide) he was nowhere to be seen. The St Bernard is something of an anomaly in Stockbridge in that it’s cramped, it’s downmarket and you probably won’t find anyone who works in marketing drinking there. Admittedly I’m reviewing this two years on, but I can remember little other than an intense discussion on the merits of dog racing. Why do they only use greyhounds? Why couldn’t you have a handicap race with a St. Bernard, for example (you can see how this train of thought developed) against a Chihuahua? A Labrador against a Dachshund? To spice things up even more, you could mix up the events and throw in relays (with a bone, of course), hurdling events and even a steeplechase. Needless to say, everyone bar me grew tired of that conversation and we soon left.

For our third and final stop of the evening, we were joined by everyone’s favourite man child: Adam Johns. The misadventures of this serial monogamist have been well-documented in this blog and other online journals, but on the night in question he was being kept in check by his girlfriend of the time, the lovely Rosie. (No, she’s not the one who shat the bed, before you ask). Anyway, I digress. We were in the Guildford Arms (West Register Street, everything under the sun), which is one of the city’s must-visit boozers. Day or night, whether you like ales, lagers, heavies, whisky or wine, there will be something on the drinks menu for you. Highly recommended.

Later that week, The Management convened on Leith Walk to pay a visit to The Balfour (7/10/12/14/16/22/25/49), which is no longer with us. It won’t be missed.

The night finished up in The Central Bar (7/10/12/14/16/22/25/49), which was enjoying a quiet spot of Sunday karaoke. When I say “quiet”, I mean in terms of numbers, as the sound system was loud enough to blow the roof off the building formerly known as Leith Central Station. Cuts chosen by the punters ranged from the sublime to the God-awful, but my abiding memory of the night is one tune. We leave you with a live take.



Until the next time..
CUMULATIVE PUB COUNT: 163

Monday, 28 November 2011

IN SEARCH OF FREEBIES

The Management make no apologies for the delay in updating your favourite Edinburgh drinking blog. Frankly, we’ve had better things to be doing.

Inspired by the previous year’s well-documented haul of free Fringe tickets, The Management were joined by Al Wallace on an evening in August 2009. Our expectation? More free tickets, of course.

Meeting at the Bar, Udderbelly (Teviot Place, 2,41,42), we were given no freebies so decided to move to one of the Fringe’s other big venues: The Underbelly (George IV Bridge/Cowgate/Victoria Street, 23,27,41,42,45). Once again, there wasn’t a freebie in sight. Having missed the Fringe’s preview nights, we grudgingly accepted the only way to see anything would be to dig deep in our pockets.

Off we went to The Stand 3 and 4 (York Place, 4,8,10,11,12,15,16,26,44,45) to see Alun Cochrane. If you haven’t heard of him not (or read about him in a previous blog) then your priority for next year’s Fringe is sorted.

A quick nightcap or 3 in The Basement (Broughton Street, 8) rounded out the evening. Apparently this place does good food, but we were more interested in loudly slating the government of the day. If any of Peter Mandelson’s relatives were in attendance, we stick by our comments.

The next day was Scotland’s World Cup qualifier away to Norway. We were humped by four goals, and the result all but sealed yet another disastrous qualifying campaign. Feeling massively downtrodden, we hit the Alhambra (Leith Walk, 7,10,12,14,16,22,25,49). Although one of Leith Walk’s less salubrious establishments, this Rat Pack-idolising place does a thriving trade whether it’s 10am or 10pm. Cracking jukebox too.

The following evening saw us out for the third night on the trot, this time to see The Bluetones bring the curtain down on a year-long tour of 1996’s Expecting to Fly. Convening in Shakespeares (Lothian Road, 1,10,11,15,16,24,34) we wasted no time in heading round to the HMV Picture House (Lothian Road, 1,10,11,15,16,24,34) for the evening’s merriment. The gig was bloody fantastic, with drummer Eds Chesters asking why we hadn’t updated the blog. We’re sorry Eds, but here’s your update – two years isn’t that long to wait, surely?

Until the next time...

CUMULATIVE PUB COUNT: 158

Wednesday, 11 August 2010

PONTOON?

Do you ever have mornings at work where you look out the window, notice it’s sunny and all you can think about is sitting outside having a beer? Unsurprisingly, so do we. In early June, I had one such desire so Rod and I convened at Scott’s (Rose Street, 3,4,12,13,25,25,31,33,36,37,41,47,48,100) for a swift lunchtime pint. Unfortunately, Scott’s is one of the few Rose Street pubs (and one of the worst pubs on Rose Street – and that’s saying something - R.M) which can’t shake off its ‘old man’ image. In fact, it fails to generate an atmosphere even during the Festival. However, it does a reasonably decent pint of ale occasionally – Black Sheep on this occasion.

At the end of June, I’d been away for the weekend whilst my ex-flatmate, Grace, had been in town. Meeting on the Sunday in the Bank Hotel for a catch up, she and her pal were too knackered to stay beyond a couple of drinks. Lightweights. Having got a bit of a taste and a thirst, Rod and I said our goodbyes and headed off to the Royal Mile (High Street, 35) – a complete tourist trap which should be avoided at all costs! ££££!

Is it a barge or is it a pontoon? That was the question which was on everyone’s mind. Well, ok, maybe only a few of the eighteen or so of us that turned out for Rod’s big birthday bash pondered the question. The rest had far less interesting things to talk about while sitting outdoors at Teuchters Landing (Dock Place, 16,22,35,36).

Having quaffed a good few drinks, we headed towards the Cameo Bar (Commercial Street, 16,22,35,36) to continue the festivities. This involved several rounds of tequilas, following which Rod disappeared. He blames the tequila. Apparently it took him half an hour to open his front door. Impressive stuff. I, on the other hand, was greeted back to my close with a headbutt from a neighbour. I blame the tequila.

Until the next time....

CUMULATIVE PUB COUNT: 151

MONTH OF MAY (2009)

The latest belated editions of the Great Edinburgh Pub Challenge see Nick take the helm:

By sheer coincidence, one of the few sunny afternoons in May (or, in fact, the whole summer) of 2009 happened to coincide with a trek up the Water of Leith Walkway from Slateford to Colinton Dell. Emerging from the woods into the sunshine we stumbled into The Spylaw Tavern (Dell Road/Bridge Road, 18,45). We opted to refresh ourselves with pints of Deuchars out in their spacious beer garden.

Around the corner and up the hill is the Colinton Inn (Bridge Road, 18,45); a pleasant enough wee boozer split over two levels and featuring a sun-trap beer garden out the back.

In our first blog back in 2007 we told you that the Great Edinburgh Pub Challenge had been conceived during a visit to an un-named pub - that pub was Hectors (Deanhaugh Street, 24, 29,42). A week after the trip to Colinton, we revisited this chic Stockbridge bar to rue the day we’d come up with such a daft idea.

Next door to Hectors is the equally classy but less forcedly trendy Stockbridge Tap (Raeburn Place, 24, 29, 42). With several ale taps, there is always a wide variety of beers available. On this occasion, the range included one of Brewdog’s experimental ales - How to Disappear Completely: although rather nice this was certainly not a session beer!

From a former Bert’s Bar to the original Bert’s Bar (William Street/Walker Street, 13,19,37,41,47), where we were joined by local celebrity Paul ‘PW’ McKay. A pub which is as famous for its pies as it is for its pints, we thoroughly recommend you pay a visit for a pie and a pint.

Our visit to Teuchters (William Street/Walker Street, 13,19,37,41,47) was not so much unplanned as un-coordinated; I was there with work colleagues on a night out when Rod arrived with other friends (apparently they do exist). Probably my favourite Edinburgh pub, this is a quaint wee place with a vibrant atmosphere and wide range of ales, lagers, malts, wines, liqueurs, gins, rums, and various other things which seem like a great idea at the time - such as the tequilas with which we celebrated last orders. For those who enjoy traditional Scottish fayre, the bistro A Room in the West End (located downstairs and affiliated to Teuchters) comes highly recommended.

May ended with a visit to the cinema in an attempt to take in something marginally more cultured: Armando Ianucci’s fantastic In the Loop:



The Cameo Bar (Home Street, 10,11,15,16,17,23,27,45), conveniently provides fully licensed facilities for the cinema. Happy days.

Until the next time...

CUMULATIVE PUB COUNT: 147

Tuesday, 16 February 2010

Not so recent happenings - part three

I suppose it was inevitable that at some point during The Great Edinburgh Pub Challenge we would run into somebody, or some people, undertaking an equally, if not more, ridiculous challenge. Last April, just that happened: The presenters of the BBC’s hit series Top Gear embarked on a race from London to Edinburgh using different modes of transport – namely, the recently built steam engine, Tornado, a Jaguar XK120 and a Vincent Black Shadow Motorbike. Having received a tip-off about this top secret event (as had at least another 500 other people), The Management convened for a swift half at the finish line – the Balmoral (formerly North British) Hotel. With Hadrian’s Brasserie booked for a private function at the request of Messrs May and Clarkson (note: that short bloke with the silly hair didn’t make it), we headed to the Palm Court (Princes Street, 1,3,5,7,8,19,22,25,29,30,31,33,
34,37,47,48).
Never one to miss a trick, I was quick to remind Nick that he was due to get the drinks in, and that he had made vague mumblings about buying champagne in the Balmoral. We were both in agreement as to the quality of the Bollinger, and the free peanuts weren’t bad either.

Photobucket

With all thoughts of champagne quaffing and train spotting quickly extinguished, we headed for the Royal Mile and to the comforts of the Jolly Judge (James Court/Lawnmarket, 24). Hidden on one of the many closes that lead off the Royal Mile, it has a rather quaint interior as well as some outdoor seating in a courtyard which attract the springtime sunshine.

Just up the road, Ensign Ewart (Lawnmarket, 24) lacked the luxury of outdoor drinking but was nice enough nonetheless. Claiming to have been in existence in one form or another since 1690, this pub has all the hallmarks (and clientele) of a tourist trap. The pints of Black Sheep were welcomed but necked quickly – it was time to get back out into the sun.

And so we arrived at the Castle Arms (Johnston Terrace, 24) for more outdoor drinking. A tavern popular both with young folk frequenting the nearby youth hostels, and also with those who stay a little closer to home, the Castle Arms boasts a lovely outdoor area on Victoria Terrace. This area offers fantastic views over Victoria Street and the end of the Grassmarket – an ideal location for a spot of people watching on a sunny afternoon.

A Kurdish restaurant is located next door – we only narrowly managed to avoid making further investigations into the extremely appetising aromas which eminated from it. Has anyone been? Is it worth visiting?

The following Tuesday, local musician Alex Cornish entertained the good citizens of Edinburgh with a collection of tunes and an attempt to flog some branded mugs and coasters. Incredibly, one daft, enthusiastic punter actually fell for his sales pitch and bought a mug. Make your own jokes. Here’s what Alex had to say about The Caves (Niddry South Street/South Bridge, 3,5,7,8,14,29,30,31,33,35,37,47,48):

“The venue we played last night [Tuesday] is a very cool place. Edinburgh has a load of cavernous underground cellar type venues, and this was one of the bigger ones. In fact, they also do “ghost tours” there, with people dressed up and making children cry etc. In fact, in our backstage room was a door, which was locked, which children walked passed on their ghost tour. We discovered that if you bang on the door as they walk by it causes a great deal of distress…”

Until the next time...

CUMULATIVE PUB COUNT: 140

Sunday, 16 August 2009

WEST SIDE STORY

Haymarket is one of the areas of Edinburgh in which The Management are closest to achieving their aim of drinking in every pub; by early April, only a handful remained to be ticked off the list. After an hour or so of light refreshment one Friday evening, the target was even nearer. The first of the remaining few to fall was The Spider’s Web (Morrison Street, 2/3/4/25/26/33/44/48/100), an early-opener which is a shrine to all things Beatles. Unfortunately it has a somewhat dubious clientele, but as an avid Beatles fan I’d prefer to concentrate on the former point. Here’s a completely gratuitous video of Rain:





Next up was Carter’s (Morrison Street, 2) which the eagle-eyed amongst you will recognise as the old Ossian, the third pub to be taken in on the Great Edinburgh Pub Challenge. Not too much has changed, but - carrying on this update’s tradition of themed pubs – pictures of Michael Caine adorn the walls as a tribute to his role in the film Get Carter with which you should be familiar. If you’re not, make a point of watching it PDQ.

That was all for the evening, but a couple of weeks later we reconvened for another session, at which point Nick informed me that he would like to write the review for that evening (“I would like to write the review for this evening,” he said) so, in (roughly) his own words:

Despite prior skirmishes, it is widely rumoured that our affinity for Edinburgh’s pubs began in September 2004 just as Rod landed in Edinburgh to begin his University career. Back then we found ourselves on a lengthy session which started with a trip to [Chinese restaurant] Taste Good on Slateford Road and ended up in The Tron, taking in no fewer than 5 boozing venues in the process. It therefore seemed only fitting that on the evening after Rod’s last University exam the Management could once again be found on Slateford Road.

As with most of the pubs in the surrounding area Grays Mill (Slateford Road, 4/34/35/44) is decked out in maroon, a colour only Hearts fans could ever love. Predictably, its clientele includes some colourful characters. At one point a couple sat next to us and admired their “purchases” from their day trip into town. We quaffed a couple of pints whilst we watched Chelsea grind out a goalless draw against Everton, but at full time we decided to move on.

It is said that the perfect nine dart finish is achieved by a player scoring 167 with each set of three darts in the following way: Triple 20 (60), Triple 19 (57) and Bullseye (50). If only someone had informed the Management of this fact, then perhaps a visit to the dartboard in The Shandon (Slateford Road, 4/34/35/44) may have been avoided. At one point, a single end resulted in the 3 darts becoming embedded in 1) the floor, 2) the seat below the dartboard and 3) the wall above the dartboard. In order to protect the innocent, the culprit will remain nameless. However, here’s a clue:





Hmm.

Until the next time...

CUMULATIVE PUB COUNT: 135
PUB GAME TALLY:
NICK: 2.5
ROD: 0.5
ADAM JOHNS: 0

Monday, 20 July 2009

UTOPIA

Our next stop on the Pub Challenge – a stop which coincided with Nick’s birthday – was Utopia (Easter Road, 1/35) , a boozer with designs on being smart – they do good enough food and have a pretty wide range of beers - but don’t open on Hibs match days.

Utopia is probably most famous for being the origin of the Alistair Darling You’re Barred campaign, which was launched in 2008 as a response to the Chancellor’s increases on alcohol duty. The campaign saw a number of landlords nationwide indicate that Mr Darling MP would not be welcome to have a pint should he enter their premises. This campaign has the full backing of The Management, and can be found on facebook and other such sites.

We had originally intended to visit Utopia around the time at which this campaign was launched, but, as with most things in the Great Edinburgh Pub Challenge (particularly your updates – Nick) the schedule was somehow not adhered to.

Instead, our visit coincided with a performance by local group Aberfeldy, who were playing acoustically. Even the fact that the drummer turned up two songs late didn’t make too much of a difference. Set highlights included a cover of the Bee Gees’ Night Fever, and this little number:



Until the next time...

CUMULATIVE PUB COUNT: 131

THE MAINS EVENT

For this latest edition of The Great Edinburgh Pub Challenge, let us rewind to a time in mid February, when I was near the end of a Saturday night shift at my work in the West End. Sometime just after midnight, a rather tired and emotional Nick turned up and insisted that we went for a pint after hours. So we did.

Unfortunately, the only place open after 1am is The Rat Pack (Shandwick Place, 3/4/12/25/26/33/44/48/100),an overpriced, overfilled piano bar populated by the kind of people who look like they go out twice a year (this is a fallacy – the same punters are in every week). If pre-programmed covers of Billy Joel, Queen or even Snow Patrol are your bag, then this is the place for you. If you have any taste, you’ll agree that it’s best avoided.

After a full 48 hours of recovery, The Management regrouped for a visit to Davidson’s Mains. Despite longstanding promises of being “Up for Davidson’s Mains, me”, Phil Brough decided he would rather go to the gym than join us. He no longer goes to the gym as Adam Johns took revenge with a silver Jaguar on Lothian Road*. Decent.

There are three pubs on Davidsons Mains Main Street (21/24/41): Ye Olde Inn, noteable for serving Tetley’s Cask Bitter – not something you see every day; The Norhet, home to a roaring fire and filled with a surprising amount of golfing paraphernalia; and Mackenzies, not really noteable for anything other than the juxtaposition of signs saying “Over 25s only” with a clientele who seemingly had an average age of 19 ½.

Until the next time...

CUMULATIVE PUB COUNT: 130

*Adam Johns did not have anything to do with Phil Brough’s accident. The Management do not consider Brough’s injuries a matter for schadenfreude. Not in the slightest. GET WELL SOON PHIL.